88 Days

Sometimes I don’t feel brave. For a long time I didn’t write because I was scared. Trauma cuts like a deep knife. That knife plunges in you and leaves you bleeding. The blood pooling up next to you and there you are just sitting in it. At 25 years old I realized it’s a tough road to love yourself. To take care of yourself and not get tired.

I felt I lost a lot of my discipline over the last 2 months and I want to gain it back. I pray that before I got home in 88 days from tomorrow I can take it upon myself to slowly change. However, my focus will be different. It will be focused on being happy, loving myself, and having that in turn help me to succeed. I have always done it the other way around succeeded only to feel like an imposter and unhappy.

Tomorrow I won’t just say tomorrow.